Sunday, April 3, 2011

Long weekend

It has been a very long weekend emotionally for me. I'm struggling at work with learning recently that the people I work with are not my friends after all. In church this morning, Curt spoke about the crazy people in your life than can cause you to make wrong decisions in you life. This applied to me so much that it was difficult to concentrate carefully but I did take notes that I will use to look over and remind myself as the weeks of this school year drag on. Unfortunately, the people at work are actually the "For Yous." These are the people in your life that you think are your friends but then you do something they don't like, they turn against you. This is how I feel right now. People that I thought I could trust to tell my secrets to have turned their backs on me. It appears they have turned around and went straight to the principal. I have been questioning myself all weekend about how to handle this.
  1. Confront (which I know in my heart will only make it worse even though the temporary relief would feel so good!)
  2. Ignore - I know this is the right way to go but I feel so beaten up and bruised that I "allowed" this to happen. In reality I know that I didn't cause it to happen. I didn't ask to be treated so poorly. I didn't ask to be betrayed. I'm being tested.
As Curt said this morning, the closer I come to Jesus, the more I will be tested and I have to remain strong. Look to the Bible to find out what my decision should be.
So the question is "who is my Daniel?" Who is the person I can trust to keep me from making bad decisions? Who is the person that keeps me from making CRAZY decisions? I know God is there for me and I need to listen and talk to him. I haven't been doing that enough. I trust that Michael is also my Daniel. I know he has my best interest at heart. I believe and trust in him, too.

Where's Your Daniel?

Now, back to Esther. She has been a busy woman. She has fasted and not your typical fast. She went without food and water for 3 days & nights. Usually, fasting didn't involve going without water and certainly not during the nights also! This was very dangerous for anyone, especially during the Bible times. She asked Moredecai to go out and ask the Jews to join her in this fast and then she would go before Xerxes without being summoned. So 3 days later she has dressed in her robes and gone to Xerxes. He has extended his scepter to her. She has touched the tip...
We have stopped there for a day to ponder on the picture that has been painted. This beautiful woman, who had spent THREE days without food and water, probably appeared to be tired & drawn. Her eyes were probably sunken in and had black circles. She was probably very weak and tired. But she knew that if she did nothing that not only would she die but so would her family and all the other Jews in Persia. So, a nervous young woman has dressed up in her finest and has walked countless feet to stand in front of the man that can change her life - for good or bad. And what happens, he is so taken by her beauty, "pleased with her," that he extends his scepter. AMEN! What relief she must have felt knowing that he won't kill her for coming to his presence without being summoned. But that hasn't taken away all of her stress. What will he say? What will he do? I can't wait to find out!

Tomorrow I will do my best to follow God's word and not allow other people's 'fickle friendship' affect my attitude!