Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I'm back

I have been studying the book of Esther in the Bible the last couple of weeks. Wow what a life this young woman has had up through chapter 4. We are using a Beth Moore book called Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman in our women's Bible study. Every Thursday, a group of around 20 women from our church and local churches gather together to watch a video of Beth Moore talking about what we learned in the previous week and what we are going to be learning in the coming week. She is a very dynamic speaker and has an amazing ability to take apart the verses so that you gain an understanding of them and then she knits (or crochets in my case) them back together so that they are meaningful. It seems that many times people will take apart portions of God's word and make it fit whatever their needs are. Beth doesn't do that. She helps you see it through His eyes and ties it to other portions of the Bible. There is no doubt in my mind that this is a God-given talent that she uses and shares with everyone. When I grow up, I want to be Beth Moore!
Each week, Beth gives us a scenario that starts with "It's tough being a woman..." This week is:

It's tough being a woman thrown a giant-sized weight.

This is what is happening to Esther in chapter 4. She has just learned of the edict ordering the death of all the Jews in Persia. Since she too is a Jew, it's reasonable to assume that she will be killed unless she as the Queen of Persia does something QUICK! I can't wait to see what she does next. Bobby told me just to read ahead and find out but I just can't do it because Beth presents each section in such a way that I believe I will understand it better if I just wait. Even though it's killing me!

So, why start this blog again? I wish I knew. I have so many friends that are struggling right now with family issues, professional issues, health issues, personal issues, etc. Sometimes I feel like I need an outlet. Maybe this form of journaling is what I need. Not only are my friends struggling, but I am too. I'm healthy and so is my family but I'm struggling with professional issues and parenting issues. Professionally, if you have watched the news in TX then you know about the possibility of huge budget cuts. No teacher is ever guaranteed their job year to year. Every year around this time, we wait to get that little letter that says the district has decided to extend our contract for another year. The sad thing is that even if you sign that contract, you are still not guaranteed a job. They can back out of it easier than we as teachers can. Sometimes I wonder why I put up with all this bureaucracy, but then I go to work the next day and see my sweet little kids faces and I remember -  I LOVE WHAT I DO!!! It's so exciting to see their faces light up when they do something for the first time or when they see their friends! I can't help but love it!
As for parenting issues, Bobby is really testing the waters the last week. He is pushing me at home and pushing his teacher at school. It's like there's a line in the sand and he's tapping it with one toe saying "What are you going to do about it? I didn't cross the line!" I don't know what to do and I feel as if his daddy doesn't even notice what's going on. I just need to remember what Angie told me - be firm, consistent, and FOLLOW-THROUGH! If  I don't get this under control at 6, things will only get worse!
So, I guess in closing I would like to say a prayer for some special people and for some unknown people. I pray that the family that is struggling with lies & rumors will turn to God for guidance and support. I know that your first instinct is to lash out but you know that isn't the right way to handle the situation. You have to be strong and reach out to God for his help. For the unknown people that are saying terrible things about this family, please repent and ask God to forgive you. Spreading rumors is hurtful and useless. You aren't hurting anyone else but yourself. That family is stronger than any horrible thing you could ever say. They have suffered through so much and have turned their lives around to be on God's side. They know that the truth will come out and that through their beliefs God will strengthen them.

Dear God,
I want to thank you for your loving words that teach us how to be more like Jesus Christ Your Son. I would like to lift a special family up tonight in my prayer. They are suffering a terrible grievance at the hand of others. I can only imagine the pain they are feeling tonight. I pray that they will feel Your loving arms surrounding them and giving them strength to make positive choices.
God, I also want to lift up those that are causing so much pain to that family. They too are suffering in a different way. They need Your help more than the family does because they don't know You! They need to come to you and learn to live in a world that doesn't have to involve hate or gossip. God, I have been that person who talks badly about others not thinking about the consequences. I'm struggling with it still today. I continue to pray for guidance in my words and actions. I pray that I can become one of those people that can be trusted to "Keep my mouth closed!" It is so hard not to get caught up in that web but I will continue to come to You through prayer and through Your word for guidance and strength.
Thank you for sending Your son to take away our sins. Thank You for loving us so much that You have it all planned out for us. How great is Your love!
In Your name I pray,