Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Grieving God's Way

A few weeks ago, I stumbled on a book that sounded like just what I needed at this time in my life. I wish I could remember where I found it but…alas my memory fails me again! That is beside the point now because the book was delivered today by the “Brown Santa” (UPS delivery man). The book is called Grieving God’s Way: The Path to Lasting Hope and Healing by Margaret Brownley.

Michael died a little more than 6 months ago and I’ve been looking for the “right” book that would help me process everything that’s going through my head. Some days it’s as if everything is going to be great and then the next day you realize how difficult things are and you are having to do it all by yourself.

  • There is no one else to bounce ideas off.
  • There is no one there to say you are overreacting!
  • There is no one to snuggle up to.
  • There is no one to make you laugh and disgusted all at the same time.

But other days, I feel as if I can conquer the world! Bring it on!

  • Lawn mower stopped working? No problem – check the oil, check the gas, jumpstart – mow away!
  • Flat tire on the riding mower? No problem – ask your brother-in-law to show you how to take it off, get flat fixed, put it back on – now you’re back in business!
  • Door won’t close? No problem – ask Dad to teach me how to fix it and now I can do it for any door that might be a problem.
  • No place to put your shoes? No problem – check Pinterest for ideas, hang a rod, bend the hangers, & voila, problem solved!

But when I read about this book, I felt drawn to it so I immediately preordered it from Amazon.com and waited for it to become available and today it arrived! It’s a 90 day devotional that begins with:

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4
A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

In each verse Ms. Brownley breaks it down for you to see how it can apply to grief. Verse 3 hits home the most right now for me because the author states “A normally dependent woman must learn to do for herself after her husband’s death rather than transfer her dependency onto her children.”  That describes me to a T! I had become dependent on Michael to do so many things and I didn’t see it. I had lost my internal strength to “get ‘er done!”

After reading that statement I remembered – I want to do it all by myself. I’m going to do this but sometimes I just need to be reminded that God has given me this task and I’m up for it!

Thank you God for trusting me to be strong enough to handle anything that comes my way!